Seasonal friends

A friend of mine called me last night and told me a loooong story almost about everything that bug her lately....

Well, you know we always belongs to different groups of friends...Often you like to hang out with this group because they like to watch movie and read books, so you all can discuss about it while sipping coffee at the cafe... Another time, you hang out with that group because all of you are going to the party and need to find new dress or even accessories together....

So, anyway this close friend of mine also have this kind of group. She's married and people in this group are also young couples with children. Their husbands met in a routine activities and eventually the wives also joining the club. I often heard they hang out together for all day long. Brunch in Bogor and having dinner back in Jakarta or the other way around. She even being loved by the children of this group. The children always welcoming her and they loves being with her as well she is with them.

But the happy moments are now over.... She felt that most of the time she is being an outcast among her friends... They always discuss and decide things before she arrive Or they are informing her that they will have this gathering somewhere and promise to pick her up... only they never did... And later she found out that they have left her behind without informing her... Making promises to have another gathering that they have no intention to keep or remember... She even feel that perhaps now she is have no job and being a housewife totally, these people started to ignore her and underestimate her....

When I heard that, I told her to get new groups, buddies or whatever to broaden her mind... And to comfort her , I said that probably those so-called friends are just seasonal friends. It was fun in the past when she hang out with them. But if now they do nothing but to hurt her feeling then perhaps she just have to move on.... And do not feel bad about it, because well... that just the way thing is.... There are happy time when you feel you wish to turn off the clock to stop the time... And then there are those sad moment when you wish you could forward the time or just go back to the past and make it all go away....

Almost nothing last forever.... We only have short moment in this world so why should we waste time with people who does not love and appreciate us?

What Happens in Vegas

Yeah, yeah, I know... I just watched the movie yesterday.... and I am not about to review the movie but only this particular statement.... In short, this movie about two people who despise each other but decided to stay together just for the sake of US 3 mio .... Of course eventually, they started to like each other... One of the characters said that she felt since she does not like her husband, she does not have to do things just to please him.... She can be herself....

And then, just a few hours before I watched that movie, I received an email from a friend of mine. She talked about how sad she was about a guy, who she thought could be her future boyfriend... The guy seems nice at first. He help her a lot and seems very supportive. But lately, he often compare her with other girls, saying that if she do this and that, she will be a perfect girlfriend for him. So, she said to me that she would rather not having any relationship with this guy because she is so tired not being herself just to please him...

HMMMMMMM, notice something related from the above two stories?

The other one (okay, the character is not real... but let us pretend that she is real) said that she feels she does not have to be someone else for her couple since she does not like him. The other one ( the one that is real) said that she try to hang on to the relationship because she think she likes him and want to please him and in the end become someone else that she does not actually want to be....

Isn't it sad that often we demand our partners to become something that we dream about and not just accept for who they are? I mean, if you want to have that relationship, it means you are ready to accept the fact that he or she is not able to fullfill all your wishlist, right? Of course is crazy to start a relationship let alone to get married with someone you despise the most... just to be yourself... But, I think relationship is not about just to please one person, but it should be both...

Or maybe now I am a dreamer???

THE Down Payment

You want to know how close are you with your girl friends? Try to ask the above question when you visit her at the hospital, looking at her just new born baby ... The reason you asked that question because you remembered that your friend just got married in January and having her child in the beginning of July....

Don't be surprised if she insisted that the baby is born premature and she has no idea about what you are talking about....

If that case.... well...., that take it too hard... Maybe, you are not really that close ... Or even if you are that close, perhaps she does not think is your business to know every details about her personal life, let alone having premature baby....

So, just give your biggest smile and perhaps say one or two things like about how lovely her baby is and skip your surprise about how fast your friend having her new child shortly after the wedding... You all can avoid awkward moments when your friends and her hubby try desperately to explain that the baby born premature ....

Anger

Sometimes when I got angry or saw other people get angry...I wondered... where is the sources that angry come from?

Maybe from realizing that you have done a mistake and there is nothing you could do to fix it?

Maybe from realizing that you are a total moron and do not know what to do about it?

Maybe from realizing that you can not get anything right?

Maybe from realizing that you also take part in someone's else faults?

Or.... maybe you just loves getting angry so you can show around to other people who is the real boss?

Am I lying?

If you knew about someone's secret...let us say.... you know that your friend's boyfriend is fooling around.... Will you tell her or just wait until she asked you?

If you knew that this person never return the money that being borrowed.... will you tell someone that you hardly knew to be careful with that person? Or you wait until they ask you?

If I am not being asked, then I am not suppose to tell anything..., right? Or will that considerate as lying as well?

But if I just tell them without being asked, wouldn't they call me a gossiper?

Speak English, please

Since last Friday, our new boss decided that we should speak English for the whole day long... If you slip by speaking Indonesian, you will get fine amounting 500 Rupiahs ... However, you may deposit 10,000 Rupiahs to earn the right speaking Indonesian the whole day... It was funny...

The whole office, suddenly became so quiet... Everybody thinking hard before saying anything... We were not just speaking English for daily conversation. But we have to do that in terms with our works... Of course, if we were all feeling hesitated, feel free to speak Indonesian again and just pay the fine....

For me, it's not the speaking that become the problem. It's more the listening problem. Everytime I have to pick up my manager's phone when he was not around, I can only hope that the client who called speak English clearly. Often, I have no idea about what they were saying. When it comes to that, I asked them politely to send email to me so I will have time to investigate the problem.... We were not used to speak with foreigners let alone talking about our jobs. And plus, to listen very carefully for whatever they are saying... The pressure to get it right since related with our works, makes it even depressing...

If it only for small talk or joking around, my colleagues were happily to speak English... Like, they were asking have we seen RAINBOW SOLDIER (maksudnya Laskar Pelangi... ), or saying THERE IS SUGAR, THERE IS ANT (peribahasa : ADA GULA ADA SEMUT)... all the ridiculous words....

So today, is English speaking day again.... And we'll see how many chaos will my colleagues produces today....