Choices in life

I once read that our life is determined by every choices that we make. There is no right choices or wrong choices. But as soon as we choose something, it will determine what will your life be in the future.

Well, I know I have been grumbling too much and it seems there is no action that I have take for my life. Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha... yes, you guess correctly. It is about my job. I truly hate despise this job. But then again, for 10 years I keep on wake up in the morning and go to that same place that I detest so muh. Why? Because for that little comfort that I receive from that place. I get health insurance, considering about my cyst. I am a bit late realizing that I need to have my own health insurance, so mine right now will not cover for any cyst operation that I may have in the future. But I still can have that insurance from the office as I entered that place in the healthy condition. That is one main reason. THe other is the comfort that knowing I will receive amount of money to last for a month. I receive fund (even is not enough) to cover my expenses on teeth and glasses. I receive bonus. Plus, I have been in this job too long I have no idea doing other job. I have no other skills. I can stated all the things that makes me unsure to move to other job or just quit. But the main reason is because I am afraid of what I will become if I have no job.

Eversince my parents got sick all I can thing of is if only I have job which not keep me in office for nine hours a day. I wish I have more flexible time to take care of them but also make sure that I will have enough. That is the thing that I can not have right now and it makes me kinda sad.

I suppose I never think that my life will turn out like this. Honestly speaking, I have never plan far ahead about my life and so this is the thing that I have to accept right now.

Right now, I stop sending application letter. I think I need a rest from humiliation of silent rejection that I received.

Wondering if I have enough courage to choose different path that will change my life with no regret at all...