Our own destiny

It is a harsh reality when you finally realize that you can not always expect your parents to agree with all your wishes and decision.
I can not expect them to give me their blessing for something that I really want as it is not suit them. It is not safe for them.

All the things that I want, are all the things that they do not wish me to want. We went to different direction in life.

I am beginning to think, if I do not take charge on my own life, I will be stuck in this dimention forever. But, if I do take the wheel, will that be a good decision to my life?

Rainbow in the sky!

It has been ages since I saw rainbow...! It was so pretty... It sort of give me a glimpse of hope in my life.

I hope this will be a good sign from GOD

Pls help to save them!

4 anak anjing dilahirkan dari ibunya yang merupakan silangan toy terrier
dengan anjing lokal (strain merah) dan ayahnya yang mirip dengan border
terrier,
1 betina mirip anjing lokal, warna coklat muda terang dengan garis hitam
dari punggung hingga ekornya, bulunya pendek
1 betina warna hikam -pekat tanpa warna lainnya, berbulu panjang
1 betina warna coklat tua - bronze, dominan coklat tuanya, berbulu
panjang
1 jantan warna coklat tua - bronze, berbulu panjang

hingga akhir april jika tidak menemukan majikan, kemungkinan hidup
mereka
akan berakhir di pisau jagal,
(Translate: IF NO ONE WANT TO HAVE THEM AS PETS BY THE END OF APRIL, THEIR LIFE WILL END) jadi mereka memerlukan penyelamat, yang
dengan
kasih sayang dapat memelihara mereka jika ada yang berminat, bisa hub
saya
Joe : 0818 - 130879 kalau dekat pasti saya antar, kalao jauh mungkin
boleh
janjian disuatu tempat. tidak dikenakan biaya apapun.

Gadgets

I am not really into high technology or anything like that. But as life goes by, eventually there are few things that you realized can not be avoided.

I once wrote that from all the new gadgets, digital camera (digicam) is my number one favorite.

I always like to take photos of anything that I found interesting. I could not do that when I was still using manual camera with negatives and all that. And I could not just leave the negatives not being developed into real photos. But right now, I do not have to develop them all. Just keep them on my computer and keep on staring them until I got bored. Or, if my hard disk already full by them, all I need just to move them to online album on the internet.

I lied. Actually, there are a lot that I like. I love DVD player a lot.

Why? Well, I do not have to get up from my bed so many times whenever I have to exchange the disc from the player. With only one disc, it could contain more than one episode of tv series. Or it could contain 2 hours long from a movie. Without this DVD player, my life is so empty. Kidding.

And then, music player from Apple; named : IPOD.

Even though many people who use SONY ERICSSON cell phone mocked me about using this, I really do not care. They said, that when it comes to the sound quality, SE does it better. Is it really? Not in my opinion. But that is not all the reason why I prefer with this music player. I do not like having cell phone with music player. The reason is simple. It is practical, but dangerous. I use public transportation everyday. Mugger will love to snatch my cellphone anytime, especially the one with music player on it. But one single gadget for Music Player purpose only? They will think twice before robbing that. Music player is not easy to sell in such a short moment. Not like cellphone. The other reason, I love listening to music all the way home while I have to standing on the bus until I arrived near my home. It drive that bored feeling and sadness for unable to buy my own car so I do not have to keep on standing for hours before reaching home. I could use that in the office while I was working and make me a little bit relaxing. I can not live without this gadget. Though I try not to listen to it too much as the research said it can make the ear go deaf permanently in the future.

Then flashdisk.

This thing has proven to be so useful when I was having trouble with that stupid cyber café in Jatinangor. This small tiny little thing can carry many files to wherever we want to go. We do not have to bring so many diskettes around. Just one this little thing. I am planning to buy another one with more capacity on it. Mine is only 128Mb. For now.

Last but not least, my own cell phone.

I have to admit; even though I did not like cell phone with music player, I do not mind with having digicam on it. It has limitation, of course. I can not move suddenly when taking picture otherwise it will go blur. Or I can not take photos in the dark as the flash is not strong enough. But during daylight, it is magnificent. I enjoyed taking photos with this cell phone. It will be a heartbreaking to let this thing go so soon. But, if I do not do that, the price will go down and it will not only heartbreaking. It will kill me !

And how about you? Have any special gadget that you can not live without it?

Free Saturday

Finally, after almost a month, I decided that this is the time for me to visit MALL again

My first intention really was to find new novels for me to read. I also made promise to meet up with Regina and her friend. We would like to have a drink at Starbuck. Then, we walked on to the theater at EX and looking at the movie posters. Finally we decided to see Shooter. I have read the review and it was said that the movie is not so good. You can check the review at My Movie Review

But who cares? It has been a month since the last movie that I saw. And looking at Mark Wahlberg is not that bad.

After that, we went to have a drink at Starbuck. Wie ordered Banana Frapuccino. And for that I am entitled to have one free Frapuccino. And for Regina, she has an upsized Frapucino , thanks to BCA credit card. But, then, we were a bit surprised as the taste of our drinks were all filled with Banana!!! It was not like drinking coffee. But it was like drinking banana juice!

While we were drinking, we talked about the things that we really wanted in this life. That we should have never made a wrong choice. Otherwise, we would spent our entire life, regretting that mistake. Just exactly like I did. Almost everyday.

My Leave Day!

Well, yesterday I was taking another leave day from the office. The main reason, I am fed up with that place. But I felt I have nowhere else to go, and that almost drive me mad. Furthermore, my families have this gathering at my uncle residence, and I knew it only too well that it will last until the night is over. So, rather I went to the office and feel sleepy, I would rather skip it.

The other reason, is to avoid that stupid celebration for Kartini. Celebrating for the struggle that she did is okay. It is the content of the celebration that I found very stupid and annoying. We have to wear traditional customes while working our job in the office. For heaven sake! I hate dressing up. And now, I have to do that while doing my work? It is stupid! Beside, I thought Kartini fought to have the right of equal between women and men. Not fighting to wear traditional customes while working.

I have been avoiding this, year after year. But finally, I have to give up. The celebration will be held on Monday. However, I am still going to the office, with OFFICE COSTUMES! This is a matter of principles.

Anyway, today I spend the entire day with my parents. Searching a gift for my Mom and end up having lunch at Canton Bay MTA. Again. The shopping Mall is decorated with Spiderman things, to promote the coming movie on 20th May 07:)

Creepy World

World definitely is not a better place to live anymore. These are three incidents that really eerie, according to my opinion.

Let us say, you are small time clerk. You went to the bank and have a credit loan to buy yourself a small house. You figure, you will be able to finish the loan exactly at the time of your retirement. And then suddenly, a mud flow came of nowhere and demolished your house. Whoops. Change plan. You can not stay there anymore. Who will be responsible of all that? Should you blame the nature? Can we blame the natural causes? But this catastrophe can not be blamed on the nature. It was simply based on human error. Or human stinginess is more likely.

It has been months, probably almost a year by now since the Sidoarjo Mud Flow first erupted. And this so-called-natural-disaster caused by a company who seems to forget or pretend to forget to use steel casing which is a common procedure as for a borehole protection oil or gas exploration. They even have the nerve to blame the earthquake in Jogja as the real cause of the mud flow. (Check out details on Wikipedia)

But enough about finding what is wrong, who is to be blamed. The question is, what about the people who use to live and breath in that area? There is no going back for them. All they need is enough cash to start a new life somewhere else. They have not succeeded until this very moment. Creepy, is it not? Planning your whole life just to see it being taken in front of you and leave you dangling from frustration to depression of not knowing what to do and to whom they can share their suffering.

Wondering is the prophecy about East Java sinking to the sea or Java island divided into two are going to happen because of this….

And now, let us talk about school. Well, school is a place where we know to find education. To make us a better person. Or at least I thought so.

Surely, you must have heard about the death of Cliff Muntu, students at IPDN , who died as a result of being beaten by his seniors during hazing. Hazing is (quote from Wikipedia) an often ritualistic test, which may constitute harassment, abuse or humiliation with requirements to perform meaningless tasks, sometimes as a way of initiation into a social group.

IPDN was supposedly a school for future Government officers. I asked my Dad why they applied military procedure during the teaching. And according to him, after the war is over, Government felt that they need public officer with military education. So, they are one of the people. But they know how to control the situation if suddenly there is a sudden suspicious movement like rebellion or something like that. But that was ages ago. That kind of method is not really needed these days. That kind of method has changed into legally bullying, in my opinion. Your junior disobeyed you, hit them. Your junior late to your summon, kick them. Your junior look weak, kill them so you do not have to deal with them. Are we producing public officers or officially licensed killers? And to think that we, the Indonesian people, funded that school, from our taxes.

Usually, when kids bullied another kids, parents would laugh and say: Oh come on. They just kid. They just got a bit over reacting. I am not really sure, if people really start to understand that bullying is very wrong. It can damage the victim forever in their life. They can be terribly shy with others. They have low confidence about themselves. They become introvert and start to close themselves from other people. And worst, they can change into that killer in the tragedy of Virginia Shooting. We might gonna think, what kind of bullying that cause so much hate and rage like that? Well, with kid nowadays, whey they bullying, they are really bullying. Starting from your physical, your parents, your wealth, anything that can be said. Often, this will escalate to physical abuse. It is about how the strong intimidate the so-called-weak. Well, when the mind has already weakened as well, they can not separate which is right or wrong. All the know, that they have been hurt, and revenge is the only way to calm their feeling and mind.

If we do not start to teach the next generation, to respect other living form, then we are going to face with people who do not care of others, ruthless, and will do anything to get what their want and leaving the mess to other people to be clean up.

Still think that the world is a safe place for us?

Just wanna wish to my Mom : HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love you so much... GBU

My deepest sympathy to people whose house got flooded in East Java by a company whih everyone in Indonesia know exactly who it is

My condolence to all victims from IPDN through the violence caused by their senior who thought they were some kind of Master of the universe.

And last one, the Virginia shooting.

The world is full with so many cruelty and most of them can not be understood whatsoever...

May the people who has gone before us, are all rest in peace.

May the people who being treated unfair are able to seek Justice.

Yesterday in daily newspaper : KOMPAS, there is this interesting articles on high heels. But before I continue, there is another interesting side to see and talk about fashion and health. Erhm, I also dig a bit from the Wikipedia website

We all know only too well, that sometimes, in the urge of being pretty perfect, people torture themselves with any kind of drugs or treatment. Or bizarre habit. Like eating paper toilet for just being skinny all the time, avoiding the sun so the skin will not get burn. Put night conditioner, day conditioner, noon conditioner, or whatever oily things to be stamped on the face. The medicine claimed to be able to remove wrinkles, flex, or whatever unwanted thing that stuck up in the face.

One of the saddest things that women should wear to look professional at work, pretty at the party, gorgeous while clubbing, is the-probably-20-cm-highheels! I have seen and read about tips on high heels. If you want to look professional in the office, please leave out those flat shoes of yours or worse, your jogging shoes. Wear only those high heels. It will make your legs look smaller and beautiful. And it can add a few cm if you are a very short person. In short, the high heels help women to boost their performance. As I quote from Wikipedia about reasons for wearing high heels include:
• they change the angle of the foot with respect to the lower leg, which accentuates the appearance of calves
• they change the wearer's posture, requiring a more upright carriage and altering the walk
• they make the wearer appear taller
• they cause the wearer's legs to look longer

Reasons for not wearing high heels; quoted from Wikipedia include:
• they can become painful or damaging for some wearers.
• they can shorten the wearer's stride
• they can render the wearer unable to run

On the article that I read in KOMPAS said : Our body must pay high price for choosing wear high heels as a must life style. High heels with height more than 2 cm, could caused damage on the posture from the risk of being fall.

And as again I quote from Wikipedia: High-heeled shoes slant the foot forward and down while bending the toes up. The more that the feet are forced into this position, the more it may cause the Achilles Tendon to shorten. This may cause problems when the wearer chooses lower heels or flat-soled shoes. When the foot slants forward, a much greater weight is transferred to the ball of the foot, increasing the likelihood of damage to the underlying soft tissue which supports the foot. In many shoes, style dictates function, either compressing the toes, or forcing them together, possibly resulting in blisters, corns, hammer toes, bunions and maybe other medical conditions, most of which are permanent, and will require surgery to alleviate the pain. High heels--because they tip the foot forward-- put pressure on the lower back through making the derrière push outwards and crushing the lower back vertebrae and contracting the muscles of the lower back.

Article in Kompas also give tips on wearing high heels safely:
• Do not wear them for a long time. Just for a few hours .
• Use them only for certain events like parties or official ocassions
• Wear them when come to the office and when we are about to go home. Do not wear it around the office.

Nice advices. But I disagree with the last one. I think we should wear it only around the office. Well, probably not all the time. My friends usually prepare sandals for exchange her high heels from time to time. And me? I use snickers or any kind of sport shoes to go to work and of course, coming home from work. I did not use them until these last 3 years. Until I realize that my shoes (sort of like men shoes, but with heels, of course) were getting depraved very fast. It means I have to find new shoes. Again. And trust me, it is so hard to find shoes that can be used to be worn in the office. That is when I finally decided to wear my-so-called-office-shoes in the office only. And using sport shoes is great to help you when you have to standing for a long time in the bus. Well, at least it helps me a lot.

I do admire those women who are still able to wear high heels and running wildly to chase a bus and then standing in the bus for hours and not even look a bit of tired. I would start whining and whining silently because my feet are killing me. But then, we are all can not be the same person.

So, I stack my office shoes in the office. And for my other activities I used these below shoes. They are all my friends in comforting my feet. And for the high heels, I use them only at parties and church. Never wore them more than 2 hours. It did make my feet look slimmer. But the pain is hard to endure. And since I am not sort of a hot executives workers, why bother with some fake appearance and torture myself?

Salute to those women who in the name of beauty and fashion manage to endure a lot of pain just to amuse other with their appearance. As, I sure heck unable to force myself to do so.

See how health and fashion could not get along just fine?

Btw, I am not parading my collection. Just parading a few of my collection. GRIN.

Come on up! Come up! There are many seats! There are many seats!

If you live in Jakarta, I am sure you hear these words all the time from the bus guy or should I say in Indonesian word: KONDEKTUR. First, he said or yelled to be exact to the-soon-to-be-bus-passenger about the destination. Then he said that there are many seats. Well, that does not mean that you can find somewhere to seat, as he did not mention that those seats were empty.

Yup! Even though I have live in Jakarta all my life, I still get conned by the bus man. All the times. He said there are many seats. I jump on the bus. And find that there are no seat to be seated. I have to stand all the way from the place I start until I arrived at home.

It is fine. Although I have been asking myself, why oh why I still have to take bus instead of taxi for the transportation after been working my ass out for the last 10 years? Lack of money? Well, anyway I decided to go home by taxi today. I have PMS. I remembered almost collapsing while standing on the bus because lack of oxygen inside that damn bus. Thanks God for the OLD FARE taxi companies. Otherwise, maybe I have to walk all the way to my home. I do not know why today I am unable to find any buses, not to mention the one that is empty. Even busway were loaded with so many people.

This is mean, I am not going anywhere tomorrow. I better sleep and sleep at home. Enjoying the weekend by myself. Clean up my room. Ah, weekends. I always love weekends. It is the only time that I can be free from the boring place that I have spent all these 10 years.

Just look at favorable kid between the siblings, or an employee between colleagues at work or pet teacher between students. Once these people were given special treatment, they will turn from humble to vicious. Okay, again… not all people are like that. But, almost about 80% are.

A colleague of mine came to me and told me about her annoyance on this NKITO (New Kid In The Office).

At the beginning, we saw him as a very quiet but hard working kind of kid. I call him a kid, since… well he is a kid comparing to us the elder staffs. Anyway, he got this high appraisal from his former Manager and suddenly he becomes a golden boy in his section. And the other managers are not trying to conceal their appraise to him. Oh, just give him the job if you cannot do that, I am sure NKITO will be able to do it. And many more like that. Assuming he is that smart, do they really need to brag about it in front of the other subordinates? Fine,

But then, my friend noticed that this NKITO are starting to play rough in the game. There was one time when she was already doing the job; as it is her responsibility. But this kid reported to their manager, acting as if he was the one who has done the job. My friend was furious at him, of course. And it was not just a one time only. According to my friend, each person has every right to suck up to his or her superior. But stabbing a colleague straight in the face was a bit outrages. Especially for a newbie! And the funny thing is, when he ever this kid get an assignment, he would go ask for help QUIETLY to my friend and another colleague. Why quietly? Well certainly to avoid those admiring superior to find out that he is actually overloaded and have to ask for help from his colleagues. Usually my friend turned the request down. Or she will said out loud ensuring that everybody will hear, that this kid is unable to finish the job by himself. So, there is a silent war between two senior staffs with this rookie. Apparently the rookie is a lot smarter than they are, or all of us here. Seriously. That kind of act, will never come across my mind in my early days in the office.

Last but not least, do you still remember this newbie who has the look that can melt his manager heart? So, he almost got away with everything that he did? Well, it turn out, this kid-who-think-he-is-so-handsome, have a high connection with someone from the HR. Which is why, the office granted his resignation from the office within only 2 weeks from his resignation letter. Usually the office demand one month notice before the resignation day. Otherwise, the staff will not get a reference letter, or any other support that is actually belonging to him or her. However, since he was the favorable boy in the eye of his manager, plus with the high connection, all rules are not necessary applicable. Imagine, he got a break in another office, also thanks to the connection. The crazy part is, he went to the test and interview for the whole week, at the beginning of the month. Where, I am sure he know, there are a lot of job at that week. And then, he resigned, at the beginning of another month. Which was why he insist to be able to resign before full month, so he can avoid the load job at the beginning of the month.

So young. Seem so innocent. But with a “TREATMENT”, all those positive sides are all gone with the wind. Well, perhaps it is an early sign to become a vicious superior in the future?

Happy Easter to all of you who celebrate this glorious day. May God be with us all and kept us away from evil. May the glory of the Lord's miracle strengthen our faith and renew our hope.

Hmmm, wondering what to do today. So decided t go to the gym. At first, I wish to take a regular public transportation. But it seems take a long time, I finally choose to go by the busway via Pramuka Terminal

Since the gym located at WMI, I have to transfer to another terminal , that is Dukuh Atas.

Then, of course I could not resist to not takes photos:

After spending almost 2 hours, I am ready to go home. But, not before I took another photos again:

This building have many hang out places. I wish my office was still near here and not at that suck new place. Hixs.

not to mention the near terminal busway which has been recently built. Hikz.

And finally today, I think I will try my luck with Matraman terminal. But, as usual, this terminal always loaded of people. So, I gave up. Again.

And I ended this day at my fave Noodle restaurant at BBT Matraman. Yummy!

Today we went to Church to celebrate the day our Lord Jesus Christ passed away and gave His life to save us from the sin we have made.

Though we have denied Him and against Him over and over again, He never walked away from us. All we can do, is to trust Him and The Lord, that we will never be forsaken in this world.

A bit difficult. But honestly, can I really try?

Thank you, thank you, thank you Dear Lord. Finally I am going to have a break tomorrow. Tomorrow is a public holiday. I have thought that I was going to drop dead in the office over being so bored and tired.

Anyway, I took some photos before I got home after gym. They are not to good. But anyway, here they are

Can we ask the thing that we have given to someone else to be returned to us? Whether that a favor, invitation, clothes and lots of other things.

I once have friend who gave me invitation for her wedding. My happiness because being invited by her was quick turn into annoyance because she was then said to me that she woul need the invitation back in case she was short of stock on the invitation card. What?

So here is the thing. You short of budget, so you can only made about 100 invitations from the shop. After making a list, surely you realized that you are out of stock. Would it be better to handle the situation before giving out the invitation to the-so-called-friend then asked the invitation card to be returned? Where is your ethic in friendship? I would rather receive the invitation verbally straight from the person rather than being asked to return the card. I would rather to be told that she was out of stock so she has no choice but to give the invitation verbally. In the end, she did not ask the invitation card to be returned. But, I was already offended by her rudeness. And even though I finally came to her wedding, I could not forget the thing that she was said.

When you gave out help to a person in need, was that because you really feel that you want to help? Or was it because to have this person owe you a big favor in the future? Of course sometimes, I can not blame a person who constantly reminded another person about their big debt of favor. If the help came too easy, people often take that for granted. And they just forget about it. So, I suppose you really must have a really big heart before giving out help. Not so many people care to remember the help that has been given by others nowadays. I do not like to see a person who likes to recall over and over again about the good deed or help that she or he has given to someone else. It was like you are not sincere when you give out the help. Or maybe, there is no such thing as sincerity?

But, I have to admit. Sometimes I do get annoyed when I saw someone did not appreciate the gift that I have given to. Let us say like T-shirt. I gave that thing as a gift. But soon after that, I saw that T-shirt has been given to someone else. Now, why I feel so annoyed? I meant I have given that stuff to that person, right? So, it is really up to that person whatever he or she wants to do with that gift. But, why can not we just let go the feeling of being not appreciated?

Silly? You tell me.

I have a connection. We usually use that phrase when we want to get something or finally have something that we want in an easier way. It could be a free ticket, or even higher than that. A good job. A high position.

I have this friend once. She has so many connections to get her way. Or her dad have huge connection, was more appropriate to say. Ever since we finished university, she has never find any difficulties in getting a job. You name it, she got it. And she was never shy to brag about it. Which is fine, if only she could do just the same to me. I visited her in one of the biggest foreign bank here in Jakarta to see her one day. And there, we met her colleague. She was a nice person. I looked at her in awe, because … well, she look so grown up with her office suits and all stuffs. She asked me whether I have landed myself a job and I said no. So, she offered her help. And then suddenly my-so-called-friend cut our conversation and said to her colleague that I still unable to operate computer with Microsoft. So, her friend kinda back off a bit and advise to learn about it quickly. Hmmm, what a friend. Of course, I am not surprise when I think about it right now. She is a person who got a job through somebody else. And of course, she did not want another competitor. Which is me.

Anyway, back to having a connection. It happened a lot in my office. Someone knows some hot shot working in Central Bank who has a very close relationship with another big shot in the office. So, talking here and there, this person finally gets a promotion to a higher position. And so on. And so on. Am I jealous? Probably yes. Imagine. These people do not have to waste so many times and energy to get everything that they want. They do not have to start from the bottom of the gutter before finally reaching to someplace better. And, that is only if they can go to a better place. They do not have to pass through some stupid tests, or interview. Or worse. Bribe the person in charge to get you in the job. They just walk through and enjoy their life.

But then again, I probably will not. Nobody gives anything for free. Especially giving help. One day, they will ask to return the favor. And trust me. It is not so nice. I have heard so many things like, oh if it was not from me she will not get a job. Or his kids will not survive in the hospital if I do not give the parents a loan. Etc, etc, etc.

I do not want to be reminded constantly about a help to get a higher position from someone, over and over again. I think it will be humiliating. It will be insulting. Just to ask for help already degrading.

So, I think, if I have connection to get a free pass, or a free things, I think that will be fine. It is not a matter life and death. But if this connection is gonna give me something heavier, as if my life depends on it, then probably I will think about it a thousand times. I hate owe something big to anyone. Hopefully, I will never ever depends my life on someone else. This job, no matter how crap it is, I got it by myself. I have nothing to sorry about but maybe myself. But then again, maybe I just saying that because I do not have a big connection to help me improve my life. 

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa,
Congratulation to my parents who have spend 45 years of their life together in a holy matrimony. Thank you for being my parents for all these times.
Please forgive this useless child of yours who still unable to support you both financially. And shamely, still living under the same roof with you.
I hope you can pass all the obstacles together in the future and thanks to choose to stay together for whatever reason that might be.

The celebration was held yesterday on 31 March 2007. My Mom decorate our house with these flowers. And she and her-so-called : A-Team, started to prepare for the feast starting in the morning. While me and my couz, started to help my Dad to clean up the house. Or at least the living room, where all the guests will be there.

They prepare food such as Chicken Rendang, Chicken with ketchup, spicy chicken, not to mention "RW" (dog's meat), Papaya's leaf, roasted fish, and fried noodles! We started the feast by starting to send our thanks to God for let us have this celebration. And then, my parents blew the candles together before enjoying dinner together with our guests.

It was fun and a bit stressing. But, thanks God everything went out very well.